It’s Employee Appreciation Day, when the skies open up and your company showers you with Lamborghinis, free trips to Dubai, World Series tickets, billboards across the country featuring huge images of your face.
Just kidding! We all know we’re lucky to get out with much more than a friendly nod and a pat on the back. But we can dream—and dream we did, coming up with 10 ways we wish our bosses would show their appreciation on this day of thanks. Sure, a few of them may seem a little outlandish
Bosses, read on. And workers: We hope you get that Lambo this year.
1. Catered meals
CAKE TO THE FACE.
2. Dress code relaxations
A giant meat suit-clad worker is a productive worker.
3. Formal recognition
This isn’t employee of the month. This is employee of the life.
4. Social media shoutouts
TWEETS TO THE FACE.
5. Ball pits filled with puppies
Ball pits filled with puppies.
6. Gratuitous finger guns
Finger guns are conducive to a positive office culture.
7. Whatever’s going on here
SURREALIST BURRITO GYMNASTICS TO THE FACE.
8. Seriously, though. A small office gathering would be nice.
Pool noodles optional.
9. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy.
Monocles also optional.
10. Just take a moment to tell us we’re appreciated. And mean it.
We’ll still take that gift card, though.
